tears_of_forsaken_heaven

tou tong!!!

2007-07-05T01:57:00.000-07:00

just had a bad night...
went to drink w a couple of friends and had to come back home early due to my allergies...
believe it or not, im allergic to alchohol...
actually, i knew it quite long ago... after one hysterical night 2 yrs ago...
i thought the allergy will not be as bad as last time....
but i guess i was wrong!
im now down w a bad rash and puffy eyes... *o no!!*
luckily i have extra pills from my last allergy *due to baby abalone*
if not, im sure down for asthma tonight... urgh!!

really feel so bad for spoiling the night
everyone left w mi to send mi home! *sorry!*
thank goodness someone drove me home! *thank you!*
if not i would have died in a taxi!

urgh!!
i really cannot stand my allergy anymore!!!
y must i have all these allergies!?
do i have a weak liver or something?!? :(

on a lighter note, im really glad tt exams are all finished!
holidays!! here i come!!! :)

2007-02-18T11:21:00.000-08:00

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/trackback.php?blog_id=wuchun10cool&article_id=6188398

lolx~ cant help but to check out this Fahrenheit guy who is the male lead in Hana Kimi channel U
everyone around me is kinda mad over him, ... especially my cousins.

we were singing then suddenly everyone screamed when zhun's face popped up on the mtv
i was like... omg, this guy's eyes are like so damn creepy..
its the look yah, that intense?!? that girly!??! that i duno know... its just that STARE! it scares mi...
maybe its because his eyes are just too "pretty"?

hmm... 2nd looks at his photos still give mi the shudders...
his features are great yah~ his lips, his hair, his face shape and everything else looks great...
but its that eyes lar, the type of eyes that u cannot stare straight upon...
cant he like wear specs or narrow his eyes abit?
at least it will help in lessening the intensity of the stare

i read through the other fahrenheit's personal blogs...
i kinda separate them into 2 species...
the optimistic ones -- zhun and that vancouver guy
the pessimistic ones -- dong chen and that dorm leader in hana kimi
my goodness, the pessimistic ones are really interesting...
their ideas lar, the way they pen down their thoughts lar....
its like how i was when i was a teenager.... lolx~

irregardless of whether its in terms work or fans or families
really can see how stressed all these guys are
hmm, guess that's the price to pay for being popular
but looking at how popular they are right now, *tsk tsk* they will only get BIGGER!

and freak my cac ex-president cousin...
he happily told mi that he rejected fahrenheit's campus singing for these 2 other singers....
excuse mi~!!! now they are popular, the sch needs to pay more, they will be damn busy...
who knows when will fahrenheit be able come to our school to sing?!?!?
sick leh.... why my cousin so dumb de.... if not i could have seen them last yr...*urgh*

lolx~ im sure hana kimi will create quite a wave in singapore~
hope wu zhun... oops, i mean FAHRENHEIT will come to NTU this yr~ :)

cheers~ happy chinese new yr~

new blogskin~!

2007-02-13T03:13:00.000-08:00

goodness mi~ its been so long since i logged on to this blog~ lolx!

decided to change the blogskin out of the blue

dunno wat struck mi

lolx~

have been busy with sch, work, friends and family.

so many things had happened during this past months

most are overwhelming and emotional...

and unforgettable...

well, all the past events are just so difficult to pen down...

im kinda in a loss of words now... lolx...

all i can say is tt...

if i can turn back time, i will definitely try to make a difference...

i will treasure those time better

and try to spend more time with the pple i love

hmm... have 2 tests and 1 report to finish

must try not to waste time liaoz... haha~

till we meet again blog~ :)

cheers~

2006-10-24T05:32:00.001-07:00

Completely
Artist(s) -- Christian Bautista

How can I tell you what I'm feeling
So you would always remember ooh ooh
What can I do to take this moment
And make it last forever
I know it's been said many times, many ways
But it's never come from a deeper place

Chorus:
For every minute of this life that I am breathing
Until there's nothing in this world I can believe in
As long as there's a single part of you that needs me
I know I am gonna to love you, completely

What did I do to get an angel
Lying here beside me ooh ooh
Where did you find all these emotions
I felt deep down inside me
I only know that this world will change
But your hold on my heart will stay the same

Chorus

I have no doubt at all
No fear of falling down
Completely,
Be with me,
Believe me,
You will always know

Until there's nothing in this world I can believe in
As long as there's a single part of you that needs me
I know I am gonna to love you
I know I am gonna to love you,
Completely

Goong

2006-10-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

lolx~ im GO-ONG fanatic now~

thanks to everyone around mi... -_-""

but im really touched by the royal couple for their ever-determined love~ <3

im so in luv with yul~~

Kim Jeong Hoon rock on~!! 26 yrs only k~

he looks so young in the show lar~

he cheated 7 yrs out of his life for goong k~~

seriously, does all koreans look younger while they age?? lolx~

o yah~ did i forget to mention that i like the ah-mah so much~~

im always smiling away when i see her on tee-vee~~

and this karma in the show.... its so true...

i TRULY believe in karma...

afterall, the world is round, watever good or bad u do will come back to u k...

so its always impt to think twice about ur actions and ur words...

sometimes, u might not get the effect immediately...

but eventually, it will come back and get u de!!!

sometimes, thinking of all these scares mi...

cause, i really hope all my wrong doings dun come back and haunt mi...

like the times when i accidently bumped into someone's car and run off...

o.. hold on, karma striked mi le lorz~~

my car is bumped.... *dotz*

KARMA~~ DUN HAUNT MI!!!

and the issue about relationship....

i really dun believe that loving someone can hurt so much...

if the other party hurts u so much... then there is really no point going into a relationship...

shouldnt love be sweet and not sour..

look at Shin Chae-gyung...

from a bubbly girl, cry until eyes become puffy and smaller...

seriously, really pity her for having to go through so much pain and tears...

who says love needs to be tested b4 things can turn out right?

why should such issues go thru so much turmoil....

if both parties feel right... the relationship will be made more real...

maybe romanticism is all the working of the heart...

not that i dun believe in real-life fairy tale...

but, all these heart aching korean dramas just dont seem real...

lolx~ no matter wat.. hope all couples will continue to be happy together...

and to those who arent attached... hope u will find ur prince or princess soon~

:) jia you~!!

2006-09-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

my bao bei car...

i know u are feeling very angry now..

but no point sending u for servicing... u shall jus have to live with the bubu k...

that hurt my car person...

i have my eyes peeled on u! *zing*

u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u u

u hurt-my-car person!!!

u dun ever let me see or know u!!!!

roar!!!

2006-09-26T04:41:00.000-07:00

omg!!! how dare u hurt my car!!! who are u to bump into my car and run off like that!!!

dun let me see or know who u are, if not u are dead for sure!!!

my car is hurt at my dad's workplace...

he parked it at some corner slots and some bodoh car went to bump my daddy's boot

how dare u!!!

now my beloved car has a big bubu...

the size of an egg k!!!

U XIAO XIN...

U HURT-MY-CAR PERSON!!!

DUN LET MI SEE U!!!!

urgh~!

2006-03-07T10:49:00.000-08:00

o man, another sleepless night.
cant sleep tonight though i have been rotting in front of the comp for 3hrs

didnt sleep last night cause i had to chiong 14 freaking large chapters of accounting
*urgh* managed to cover only 4 chapters...
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! wat's wrong w the lecturers and profs!!!
give us so much to study from and end up giving us general qns for the test
freak man... and thanks to the 2 gruelling coffee sessions w my bud last night... I CANT SLEEP!!!
urgh... damn the after effects of caffeine.

been busy w my piano work lately.
students' theory exams are coming, ballet kids are having their exams in the upcoming month.
by next month, i will be raining w $$$.
^woot!^

life without a car is painful
so i have currently eyed this BMW car.
cannot remmember its name, but its surprisingly small for a BMW
but man, it comes with a hefty price *kachingggggggggggg*

had a short sms conversation w a long lost friend who had just "graduated" from poly
a toast to him for having not to mug for ungodly hours anymore
o yah, forgot to wish him good luck in pursueing his newly found manhood. he's going ns soon~

a comment exchanged was that a dip cert cant bring anyone far in singapore's tough economy
hmm, guess there're just too many degree holders around.
so its definitely important for poly students to pursue higher educations
though they are supposed to end studies earlier than the JC students,
most poly students will spend longer years and more $$ for their educations...
but such things are hard to comment on since the route of studies is endless.
damn it, this reminds me of NTU fee hike... *ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

having a CAC president cousin is sometimes not as bad as i thought
u get special previleges and treatments
and most importantly, u get to know more inside stuffs...
haha~ all these politics are sometimes just too juicy to ignore. lolz~

how to study smart
1) never use any "short cuts" in studying when u are not familiar w the subjects.
and that applies even if u attend every single lectures and tutorials.
READING from the TEXTBOOK is still essential for in depth understanding

2) never go to a test without re-doing ur tutorials.
most of e qns are repeated from the tutorials and short online quizes.

3) never NEVER go telling people how much u have studied.
im not telling u to be hypocritical
but think about it, if u studied really hard and u ended up w a shit result.
*yikes* man, it will look bad on you

4) study smart.
not every information needs to be memorised. pick out the key informations and dun forget them during the exams

5) dun practise ur qns too hard
most of the qns are repetitive. 1 or 2 trys of similar qns will be enough to get u a good grade.

6) dun go bragging ur good quiz results
nothing's so great about scoring well for quizzes. the greater weightage of ur marks still go to the finals
it will be worse if u score a less than average final mark with ur "marvelous" quiz results

nitez~

sorry blog~!

2006-02-06T08:02:00.000-08:00

ah-ha~ long time no blog~! :P

very very very busy nowadays... no time to sit back and relax.
holidays went passed so fast that i didnt even have time to blog... lolz~
shall wish you MeRrY xMas, HapPy NeW yR, HapPy ChInEsE nEW yR and HapPy ValentIne's all in one go.
haha~

nothing has changed much. just that i cant seem to catch up with the progress each day.
haiz, im really getting old le. haha`!
im still lagging in tutorials and lectures.
and not to mention the revisions for the upcoming class tests~! :P

lost a good deal of $$ *ka-ching* during chinese new year.
but, no worries, my income is increasing soon le cause most of my students are going to take graded exams this yr
hmm, there will be pros and cons.
no matter wat, i will still strive on de.
cause if i can do it for one semester, i will be able to do it for another 7 semesters de.

sometimes, its just so hard to put some things behind and move on
but when u do move on, tinch of regret will make u lag back and confuse u even more....
how i hope i can stop looking back and start looking forward, towards greater inspirations and happier returns.
and yes, i will learn from past faults and try not to repeat the same mistakes again.
*bleah*

got an advice from my cousin - "to make ur degree stand out from the rest, u need to have a good leadership record. If not, y come to ..."

well, easy for him to say. he's the CAC president.
*bleah*

and i think i shrink abit le....
my aunts couldnt see me in the mist of my tall cousins... *arh... damnit....*

limin jia you ba~!

blog abit... hehe

2005-11-20T18:00:00.000-08:00

5 more days to my last paper and counting down
and im NOT done wif my studying. IM DEAD! haha~

anyway, am slacking at home now, cause there's no ballet piano work today~ *hip hip hooray*

wanna blog abit about WCG world cyber games.
actually, i only have one comment about the games
ARH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lolz, i know the games i see the games
but how dumb does it get for me to sit down in the convention hall and watch OTHER PEOPLE play for 6 hours...
*bang my head on the wall* i should have stayed at home and played the games...
haiz, but no matter wat, the counter strike and star craft match was amazing.
starcraft >> xelloz should have won. he is good at strategy... but he's too slow.
plus many of his korean and singaporean fans were there...
thought he would have won under such great support
anyway, i saw 3 korean girls cry in the toilet after the game... *so ke lian...*
counter strike >> TEAM EG rocks! no wonder sg team Titans lost to them during the quarter finals.

had a chat wif my bud after the game
hmm, guess the rum and raisin ice cream got into him and he started to pour out his feelings.
*but excuse me~ how can a guy get drunk wif the rum in the raisins? ...useless crap *
started to talk stuffs about love and the usual stuffs...

lolz~ i already knew who he likes,
but out of curiosity, i wanted to get the truth of of his mouth....

and... i... managed to coax him to say out the truth....
and yah, limin's small talk always can get pple to speak out their inner feelings...
lolz, and he really has lots to say
one thing to add, i cant believe a guy of his age is still so ... *innocent*
he really treats love like a piece of fairy tale story
he cannot differentiate between crush and real likings

i pity the girl he likes
*oops*

he is a great guy who is quite sensitive and easy going
but... he doesnt have enough qualities to impress a girl
*u get it?*

but i hope his fairy tale story will have a great ending
and hope he press the accelarator pedal...
cause its going to be so difficult on me to hold on to such a secret...

do i sound evil? hmm...

*agony*

yipee`!

2005-11-12T03:37:00.000-08:00

i got my real driving license le~! yay! nothing beats seeing my picture on the Republic of Singapore Driving Licence~!
the licence is blue and there's nothing much about it... but im still shhhooo happy when i saw it~
i luv u licence~! *muackx*

lar lar lar~ my exams are basically done wif one more econs paper left in 2 weeks time~!
haha~ so right now its enjoyment and Zzzz time...
im going to keep myself MiA for as long as possible so that i can Zzzz more.

the papers were difficult
the real reason is cause i didnt prepare well enough for the papers
maths could have been better and the rest got no comments
lolz, i hate to talk about my papers after exams
it just cracks my nerve!
*spare me from nonsensical talks about exam k!!!*

today is my official day of "work" after resting for shhoo long
my students actually told me they miss me
*haz* such suck-ups, but im happy that they said that.
came online to check for the ABRSM theory application date ...

Application For Theory Examinations ( Saturday, March 11, 2006 ) [Registration Period : Monday, November 14, 2005 to Friday, November 25, 2005]

lolz... *pengz* 2 weeks online?! shouldnt they extend it to 3 weeks so that the kids can have more time to consider?
*ahem* but i wouldnt have any problem, since only 6 of my kids will be taking the theory exams.
this number is not alot compared to other teachers

im accepting another 4 more students...
yesh... im mad... but they are lobangs from my mum and my sister rejected them.
i need to be responsible de mah~ cant simply tell them im not free and i cant teach their wodnerful kids
*ahem* after all, im highly sought after in bedok
and i know they are quite desparate in getting me to be their kids' piano teacher
*ahem ahem ahem ahem*
haha! joking lar! im cheap mah! that's y so many parents wan me! *nods head*

nowadays got alot of parents calling me for piano classes and the thing is....
they think im teaching piano full time
and im some kind of married woman who gives piano lessons at home...
*...* *...* *...*

no comments... but there are more absurd stuffs i have heard...
wonder who started to pass my name and hp number around...

more make up piano lessons to give and offering my service to the ballet teachers during the holidays...
*urgh*Z
there goes my holidays!! *uarh~!*

eee..

2005-11-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

excuse me pple... jay chou's new album is november's SH-O-PA-N..... not CHOPPING!!!

gimme a break man, have been hearing pple calling it november's chopin. its damn irritating k.

haha~

chopin is a romantic century composer. please dun insult his name no more. lolz.

turning mad... signs of tiresome due to exams.

peace~

yay~!

2005-11-04T15:05:00.000-08:00

lala~ exams period in NTU right now. but wat can make me really happy???

ITS THE RELEASE OF JAY CHOU'S NEW ALBUM - NOVEMBER'S CHOPIN!!

yayyayayaya~ just heard the songs, and i feel that the music texture is more plan but more melodious. jay is composing according to the musical roots again. indeed, that's how classical pianist should compose their songs.

one of his songs included a messiah. quite shocked... but the chant was well done. wonder how he can mix such different genre together. JAY CHOU ROCKS~!!!

lolz~! his songs really cheer me up.

went to study at raffles mac yesterday. went off to sit at the singapore river alone and enjoyed the sceneries there... felt very overwhelmed by the beauty of singapore nite life. but... the boat quay i knew is no longer the same. the asian civilisation museum is more beautiful and the night sky is much filled with street lights. hmmmmmmmmm, really missed the days at raffles. cant wait to go for another concert or perform for another concert. lolz.

haha

still got 4 more papers to go. need to go study le. hehe.

weepz

2005-10-18T14:24:00.000-07:00

life is still the same, not much diff. still got lotsa hw and sleep to catch up on.

my dear steph has gone through a very tough phase of her life. hope she will be ok.
well, to think about it. maybe its good for her to move on.
aiyoh... that's wat you wanted right? so now u have it. so go all out for that guy underneath ur hostel level k~

steph failed driving too.
well, shagged. no comments. just hope i will pass my 2nd try. lolz

gtg for computing now.

school works are really getting into me nowadays.

*my brain is shrinking*

2005-10-12T07:09:00.000-07:00

was reading a friend's blog just now and felt some sort of hurt.

sometimes, when chances are gone, they do returned. it just takes time and patience. anyway, i tried and i failed. he tried and he failed. then now u regret... ok... anyone who dun understand the previous statement please just go "dotz dotz dotz" and dun ask me about it...

sad... but i got no more feelings about that matter so i shant make anymore comment. but to accept someone just so that u can feel belonged moght not be the best way.. cause u will be cheating on the other party's feelings...

haha, sry... if i hurt anyone's feelings... i really dun mean it

studying in mac as usual.... suppose to be doing my stupid presentation but im damn shagged... had driving and taught piano in the evening. tired!!!

sianz... school is turning me muggish and abit sianz...

although im living my life to the fullest, some part of it is empty. someone may be trying to fill it up, but hope no one is hurt in the process. i will still want to keep my friends, my clique and my current life... and this may not be the best one that came along...

i dun wana hurt u.... so just do nothing and things will go on fine okie?

Jazz in a Can really rocks... and im going to miss playing for the band for a while.

but till then, my fingers shall run flawlessly on my piano and i shall continue to produce good music for myself.

music, my appreciation for live....

alamak~~!!

2005-09-25T15:36:00.000-07:00

lolz~ its 6.45am in the morning. came online to check out my lab group... got stupid lab later... arh~!!

anyway, need to blog about something to get it off my heart.

eddie taught me more about walking bass.

im really realyl reallyl really really really really happy!!!! :):):):)

but... at the same time, im more superly duperly stressed....

not onli have i not "learnt" music as a normal student for a long time...

i have not touched my dbass skills for a long time...

being a learner again is weird... but it reminds me of my MEP days and string ensemble days where mrs tan-chua and the super rude ms ku will train me.

arh~!! good old days of training...

BUT IM STILL FEELING SO GUILTY!! CAUSE ITS REALLY HARD TO GRAB THE ESSENCE OF WALKING BASS...

the fundamental part is ok... but its the extended version that is driving me nuts nuts....

arh... so i cried after eddie taught me... too touched... lolz

sat investiture sucked... only liked the music palyed by combo 2 pple... but the arrangement is like... not special....

hello~~!~~~~ its investiture... pls learn from other clubs and do a proper and fun investiture k?

stupid committee members... ooops, i ran for it too..... hahaha~!!! but im not in it and steph is in it, so the more i should scold the stupid committee.... haha~

ah boy aka chee wee aka lawrence aka CA head came to "Grace" the ceremony. think he felt that it was quite crap too... CAC de investiture of course very nice de lah~!!! that genius brain is always up to lotsa ideas... must learn more from chee wee.... hope to get some of his smart brain. lolz~

EDDIE! IM SORRY!!! I PROMISE I WILL PRACTISE HARDER!!!

*urgh* lab... sianz......

gtg school. *toot* *toot*

opops

2005-09-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

hiya blog, long time no blog...

decided to blog abit today cause i have been stoning in front of the computer for 6hrs completing my effective comm assignment...

*ahem* if u are wondering, im still no mugger.

sad right? :p

was thinking about the tuesday i spent with the NTU study clique... it was a friend's bday and we really had lotsa fun. but somehow, it reminds me of how i was when i was wif jia hui they all....

kinda miss hanging out wif them, dunno y we drifted apart too... hmm, havent really had time to think about the number of people who came into my life and just left... sometimes, im just so selfish... i really do go on wif life and not remember the past. is this bad?

jazz band lunch time concert is coming up. and im feeling guilty for asking andrew to change me back to combo 1. im sry for the bassist who has to stay in combo 2. but eventually, i will still have to go back to combo 1 since that's where i started out wif. im sry if that guy is going to have a hard time in combo 2. but... im truly from combo 1 and that's where leroy, sam, deb and farid are... and nothing's gonna break us apart. lolz~ too emotional. ha

shall talk more about the tuesday bday celebration. soo sin, lisa, milah, michelle, derrick, min en and me... we ate, went esplanade and play games. ... wow, all these really pinches my heart... hmm... all the old memories of PS and esplanades with the different pple i went with... the games that we played.... the things that we do.... nothing really changed... except for the pple around u. y do i suddenly feel my heart ache? i still do miss him so much... awwww...

hmm.... limin is turning soft hearted... that's bad~ haha... shall remain cool and go to school now. got to meet up my project mate to complete the interviews for effective comm.

i realised something... no matter how much i have changed... right inside, im still who i am... so if u are reading this, do remember to contact me k~ still friend mah... haha!~

*urgh....* cant believe im saying all these...

im ok...

2005-08-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

although its only 1 wk... but alot of things happened to me lar... friends-wise, tutors-wise, driving-wise, working-wise, family-wise and alot of other things...

but... the one wif the most impact on me was the running for Student Conductor in jazz band. and yah, i wasnt chosen. yes yes... im disappointed but i expected the results cause i made it quite clear to them that i dun think im up to it yet. shouldnt have gone to sch and ran for it in the first place... Rudy aka the pres came up to me and told me to run for it since i was there... but im in sch cause steph ... kindly asked me to go... anyway, long story, to cut the long story short, i have mixed feelings about not getting the post.

first, i finally detered myself from making the same mistake i made in JC. i thank watever elements that gave me the chance to study well again. and i will make sure my current commitments will not stop me from doing so. i really wan to change my attitude towards all these music conducting stuffs. i just wan to be a normal member, learn like a normal student, and to find back the sense of learning music as a musician again. this feeling is so complicated... right now, i just feel like crying, cause, im finally the chen limin i knew last time. a musician, a learner and a listener. that's wat i have always been pursueing... but yet, in the course of it, SC just came into the picture and spoilt the path.

right now, i have a great study clique, and all i can say is that im really very lucky to have them. although they may be quite muggish, but hey, we know when to have fun and when to study. i believe, by giving up SC, i keep these precious friends and not let the JC history repeats...

right now, im glad that i lost the SC post. and i thank everything for not letting me get the post. i thank rudy for showing me wat jazzz band is really like. and i hope i wouldnt get myself involved in their complicated stuffs. i thank the conductor for showing me how limited my musicianship is... i hope i will continue to learn more about diff music from him and most probably try not to quit jazz band until i have learnt enough. hope that kenny will cope holding such a tough post in such a new CCA.

im still young. and like wat they say in the interview, "If u are the SC, u will be the youngest head around. do u think u can stand the pressures and doubts from the seniors?"

my true answer - NO

and as for the call from the CAC head today, i think they mistaken me to be the new SC in jazz band. haha... no way im going for the meeting tmr.

gimme a break limin... u need to stop thinking about all these music stuffs and concentrate and be happy wif wat u have right now.

SC = alot of sacrifices. i know i dont want that. pls pls pls pls pls pls pls .. dun let me think about it again. i really need to concentrate on my studies. thank you for not letting me become the SC.

gtg and study le. going out for KBOX wif the trainess and auditors tmr. $$$ fly fly fly away le. sad.

haha~

ai-yoh-yoh

2005-08-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

haiz, long time never blog le. sry for neglecting you... cause nowadays im really bery busy with work and ... school work. haha...

got no time for myself at all... except at night, when i spend my times wif my textbooks and tutorials

have been contemplating about whether to join jazz band nowadays... aiyah, shit... its this JC confusion again... to follow my interests or to concentrate on my hw. of course, the practical thing is to concentrate on my hw... but i cant seem to get myself to stop thinknig about joining jazz band. im always craving for the chance to produce more music in a grp and this is my chance!!! but but, if i take up jazz band, i will have less time to work and i will have to reschedule my piano lesson timings which also means less time for chiong-ing hw. arh!!! wat did i get myself into again?

cried over this problem today... guess its the accumulating stress that is taking over me... never felt so stressed for a long time. haiz. o pls, let me get thru this fast...

anyway, band alumni rocks even though we cant play well. i really understand y i miss alumni band le... because most of the pple who return to alumni band are those who truly love music... like me! o music, how can i survive w/out u, thank you for being part of my life and i hope i will discover u fully and spread u to other pple of similar interest.

have been stuck in canteen B nowadays, doing tutorials and catching up with lecture problems wif the "study clique". omg, i cant believe how "muggish" i have turned. lolz, but i believe it has made me more discipline and diligent. yupz...

was thinking about wat my ballet employer was mentioning about NTU being the god forsaken place... hmmm, i totally agree... especially the 179 bus stop... i think... i cant take the non air-con buses + bad smell in jurong + the most impt one... the QUEUE!!! wow... k, the queue in the morning is sometimes quite unbelievable. for pple like mi who have to take bus everyday... i kinda like accept my fate liaozz. haha, gtg and sleep liaoz. tata~

lalalala~

2005-06-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

yay~

today is my last day b4 the start of my 2 weeks hols

omg, i really neded it

thank you for coming so soon

met the pianist who played for the ballet camp

its a guy!

omg!

and he's like 26 with a full time job as a salesman

he improvises music and play with great expressions

wow, no wonder he is highly sought after by ballet teachers

he told me to relax when i was my turn to play....

HOW TO RELAX??!

wow, he really gives me the stress... lolz~

will be meeting him tis sunday for another session again

he promised me to bring me to another camp for more exposure...

which means more stress... awww...

bro... i cant anyhow create nice ballet music u know... i sight read and play...

arh~~~~~~ i think i will be on my knees if he plays very well again....

next week is going to be so Zzzz

organised alot of gatherings for my exam students

basically, aural trainings for them since haha, most of them cant sing in tune

awwww, tiring times for my ears again

need to Zzzz

tmr is last dayof audit!!! yay~!!

syoonaarraaa~~

yay!!!

2005-05-30T07:05:00.000-07:00

i have finally done it!! i have submitted a 2 weeks break from work, wow hoo~

well... its quite hard for me to do so since i cant imagine myself slacking so much during the hols

but since that's wat i wanted for a long time, i should start thinking more for my body and brain den to care so much about my bank

have been having a hard time

first with my ballet piano and next with my piano students

and right now, my life revolves around my students who are going to take their exams this yr

this is afterall my first try, so i shall give in all i have to make this a good start

but!! the first bad news is my cute student aka ngeow chee fong sprained his wrist!!

or broke the bone between his wrist and elbow...

either way, its going to affect his playing

and i hope the mum doesnt kill me if he doesnt get a distinction grade...

note: he is yamaha's GMC scholar... haha!!! im pro right? can get such a student...

this guy is musically talented but... very naughty, cannot get him to sit down

haiz, visited him just now. bought him hello panda

his arm is still swollen... sad sad...

its his holidays and he can only stay at home and watch cartoon

chee fong, hope u get well soon.

teacher will try my best to train ur right hand to strength again when u recover

weep weep

holding my piano gathering on the 18 June 2005

havent gone to buy the invitation cards yet

no time lar

to me, time is $$ k

hahaha

alot of parents seem to be worried over the gathering

lolz, the stress should be on the kids not the parents..

parents nowadays so KiAsU... haha

hope can boost the kids' morale

and most importantly, get them to know each other!!

that's wat music is about!

to gather the pple with the same interest and enjoy wat they like together

that was how i was brought up and so i hope my kids will love music as much as i do one day

went to call lena just now

yah, im stubborn

u know that

haha

the engineering fac is 1600+ this yr

SO BIG!!!

i calculated 1400

at least that's wat i deduce from the accountancy fac

note: acc fac is 700 strong and they split to 2 grps

so since engine has 4 groups so its 1400 lorz...

but its ONE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED!!

no wonder they can accept lousy folks like me

and no wonder they need to be split up to 4 groups...

wonder how i am going to cope...

luckily engineering is so big...

if it only accepts 800 pple *ahem, someone...*

i wouldnt have gotten in

*phew*

was calculating my $$$$$$$ expenditure on driving

and right now, i have spent $ 33 * 15 = $ 495

NOT BAD!! hahaha, never spend that much

can help my sister in building up her comic drawer's dream

yah, im encouraging my sis to take up comic drawing

i think she's really talented, but no spotted

its better for her to do something she likes rather than just brooding at home and waiting for the letters from universites.. haiz..

anyway, talknig about driving, reminds me of the hopeful soon-to-be-learning-driving auditors in BSL

told frangi and seet ching to encourage ms chai fong peng to learn driving while taking her FTT

haiz... although no one knows how many times she failed, i can sense that she is quite sad about it, especially since she mentioned she spent so much time travelling to the driving centre to queue for her FTT dates and exams...

faus said fong peng failed quite a few times

and both of us agree that its because she didnt take lessons while learning FTT

hmm, should try to encourage her again b4 i leave

afterall, i was in the same situation b4

trust me! learn driving first, after that FTT no kick hahaha~

turning siaoz again

going to buy k700i soon

after i get the $100 from my dad

$$ for being such a good daugther throughout this few months

lolz, i think its most likely because i got into somewhere in university

should have gone NUS den maybe my relatives would think im in some prestigious course

hahaha~

this month is my ah-ma's 4th anniversary since the bus accident

going to pray for my ah-ma's good friend soon

hope my ah-ma wont go, in case like last time, depress until her heart cannot take it

my mum is saying that she will not stay with us any longer

she 86 this yr le...

and after the accident... things havent been going well for her

just saw the food that she left on our dining table and now, i have the sudden urge to cry

ah-ma is so old le and yet she still puts in the effort to cook and bring the food to our home

hopes she can spend the rest of her days in my house

instead of staying with my bustard uncle who only knows how to ask for $$ from my ah-ma and not taking care of her properly

haiz, wat have this world gone to

anyway, to end on a happy note, i can go and ZZZ le

wang shui!!

ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i am slacking!!!

2005-05-20T01:17:00.000-07:00

haha... im finally back in the office to slack again... have been stuck in the office for 2 days. yippe. cant believe it. haha~

life is still the same, not much change except tt i feel tired esaily nowadays.

extended my audit work till 1July

and yah, i know its a big mistake...

but well, it means more $$$ and less time wasted in slacking.

going to hold a piano gathering for my kids soon

cant wait

haha, need to go back to work.

*pat my head*

haiz, sianz.

syonara holidays.

Zzzzzzzzz

haiz...

2005-03-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

today's a off day for me, no need to teach the kids cause its term break for them

yay~

resting at home right now, checking the university status and thinking about my future

sometimes, i find myself stuck in situations that i could have easily gotten out of

like example... scoring mediocre results for A levels...

and yet, there are always more reasons that i can blame them with

that's wat i hate about myself

always finding excuses to cover my own blardy mistakes

now to think about it

i think i deserve what im gonig through right now

like what i'll tell anyone, "get on wif life yah, it doesnt end here."

but right inside my heart, life has ended already

working monotously in BSL is making me feel worse about my unforseen future

my only relief from such disgust is my piano teaching

at least that's something im confident about

and yet, i know, i dowan to be a piano teacher for the rest of my life

and yah, about this issue... everything that is going on right now is going to affect

THE REST OF MY FOKING LIFE

guess im just thinking and brooding too much about it

but hey, its my unpredictable future im seeing right here

that's why, i cant afford to make any more fatal steps like wat i did 2 years ago

who can dare say they are really sure of what they want to do in the future?

its 30 to 40 years of the same job we are talking about

eventually, i doubt we will be happy with what we are working as

or rather, we will be merely doing our job for the sake of responsibility and $

so should we really choose our courses accourding to our interest?

personally, my answer is a NO

as we go through different phases in our lives, we will have different forcus and hence interest

maybe, im thinking too far out into the future

but really after going through all these,

thinking about YOUR FUTURE is more important than ever

any wrong move will destroy your future

feeling even more confused than ever

now i understand why my sister went through such depression last year

guess it runs in the family blood

we are all such failures

especially me

foking BSL work tmr

give me a break

urgh

hmm...

2005-03-06T00:45:00.000-08:00

once again, im experiencing one of the most difficult times of my life

but hey, im strong, i will get through everything

i guess...

shall blog abit about today

lolz

had lessons this morning till afternoon as usual

the students were surprisingly obedient today

no rubbish playing and no lazy fingers

but... wen xi cried because she cannot count

well... she only learn for 2 months...

think she never met such difficulties before since she is always successful in everything she does

hmm... kids... should learn to take failures more optimistically

afterall, they are still young

they can still afford to make mistakes

unlike me

went on to meet up with melissa at around 5pm

so late... zzzzzz... so tired after teaching, haha~

saw hong tat and a girl holding hands at dhoby ghaut mrt station

lolz

then saw them again outside pizza hut

*puzzled*

wow... the world is so so so small...

saw alan too

well, he was alone and he couldnt hear me screaming at him from afar

wth

lolz~

this is a small world afterall

went to walk around first

bought a theory book then a OP shirt at a sales

den to jack's place and talk till 9pm

was playing with the candle at our table and trying to irritate mel by attempting to extinguish it

well... guess i was too tired that i became nutty

*shesh*

had sirloin and cat fish, superb

i like beef... power... though i was too carried away by the potato that i neglected the beef and it ended up less juicy than it should be when it was sizzling hot

lolz

wasted

walked more to digest the unwanted fats in our bodies

went to this certain shop

well... all i can say is... mel is very adventurous

i will buy her a card from there next time

took 14 home and passed by temasek which looks so scary at night

wth

wat a day

but it has really taken my thoughts away from certain things

hmm...

something i learnt today

HEED SENIORS' ADVICES

well... i learnt it the hard way

guess someone will be sniggering away with laughters..

but really, i regretted watever move i had made previously

nvm

im still optimistic

afterall, i will never want to be like my sister

i will learn to be smarter and get through this

God, give me the strength and luck i need to fulfil my hopes

please

its finally here...

2005-03-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

wow... its finally here... 4 March 2005

my last blog before i receive my life determining results

yah... life determining

my collegues have been telling me there's still a long way to go even if i dont score well

well... even someone of my age told me that

but hey, its totally different for me

i really put in alot for results

right now, im still so young, so yah, results are of course the most important issue to me

im afterall... a student

im superstitous de...

i have been a really good girl because i really want my results

i gave up many things for results

and so, today, the earth should go round and present me with what i have always dearly begged for

GOOD A LEVEL'S RESULTS!!!

haiz... okie, the results are out anyway

just hope the results are really really gooood.

its 7.30am right now, and only one person is online

*everyone should be having sleepless night right?*

haiz... i fell asleep after pondering too much about the results

ironic isnt it?

lolz...

listening to jay chou's dao dai

the tune really suits my mood now

so soothing and .... jay chou-ish

haha...

its so foggy this morning

actually, it has been like this for a long time

lolz

now i understand why i have always felt the sky doesnt match wif our surroundings at all

its because we destroyed our natural surroundings

have been working at shenton way nowadays to audit a shipping firm

more interested to take up maritime now

shipping terms = alot of headaches

very fun

hahahaha, mind-provoking

i was working on the 15th floor, same as my apartment's level

but the view is so different

from my house, i see east coast, abit of tow area, and the sea

but at shenton way, its buildings after buildings

and when it rains, i get a full window view of droplets of water which makes them look like snows

really cool

but imagine, i have to work in this kinda environment next time

will i be able to survive in such a competitive environment

even for now, the experience hasnt been as great as i thought it would be

yah, im quite a spoilt person when it comes to work

i have the choice of being a music teacher or a normal worker

but i really like my collegues in my audit firm

especially Faustina aka the first person who brought me out for an audit

yah, i know i havent been out wif alllll of them

but the first person who brings me will always be unique to me

the both of us got like a strange bond

lolz

she bully me, i suan her

but at the end of day, its still the mutual respect that kept us working together steadily

yah, sometimes the both of us act childish

but hey, its part of keeping this work fun isnt it?

if not, everyday will be so dull

she really guided me through alot, lolz, shall talk more about her next time

im dying to spill her secrets!!! arh!!!

but im of course not going to say them out yah... haha

gtg and meditate before i get my results

wish me all the best okie?

jay chou rocks!!

but results still more important... :p

arrrrHHHH!!!

2005-02-27T04:00:00.000-08:00

omg!!!

week of o lvl's results...

and rumoured "4th March" a lvl's...

tummy cramp, brain cramp, heart cramp, eye cramp

arrrhhh!!!

urghhh!!!

im going to die

toooooooooooo scared

need to go pray for assurance

pls bring me through this...

i beg u...

just registered 3 of my students for ABRSM exams

used online registration

hope the master card number doesnt get hacked

another problem... hmm...

got to play for the ballet kids on 14 April

which means i have to take leave from my audit work on that day... hmm....

should take extra day off b4 the exam to practise for the kids...

if not, my lousy playing might affect their performance

haha

so scary...

everything is so cramped nowadays...

to think that i was complaining about whether i should take up the audit job one month ago...

guess right now, i havent regretted alot..

though it was really tiring at first, and is still tiring...

but!! i have learnt to cope wif all these!!

gave up some time for myself and tv

gave up my opportunity to be a more prominent ballet pianist

gave up my times wif friends and band mates

and gave up much of my health

i guess... life is like this... give and take.

u can never have everything in life right?

at least, im learning alot of new things in my auditting work.

not bad.

lolz

after one week of auditting, teaching and playing piano

im finally getting my few hours rest for myself

after that, its work again tmr.

lolz

idiot

no life

i hate it

but no choice

i chose it

lolz

hmph

i hate myself

pls let me get through this period...

*ahem*

12 March aka my students' theory exams at chai chee sec

wth

so ulu

haha~

all the best to them and myself

more extra lessons

Zzzzzz

Slack again...

2005-02-21T15:52:00.000-08:00

sianz...

slacking in work again...

using my collegue's notebook to type this entry...

hope the boss doesnt see me...

hahaha~

really need this break

too full after the CNY lunch

had to sit wif poon and li joon

soooooo scary!!!

luckily i didnt have to answer most of their qns

xiao yuen did all the talking for me

aiyah.. sad. trainees get bullied. cause no one wants to sit wif poon

so it leaves the trainees to be sacrificed

actually, poon is ok

but li joon... she is the worst.

guess i cant really say why

its jsut my sixth sense.

lolz

doing system south east audit.

so bored

so cold

and so sleepy

need to ZZzzzz

lunch was yummy

but eating wif the bosses were scary

haha

not so good experience eh

gtg and be a good girl

work

i need to cry...

2005-02-20T22:30:00.000-08:00

well... created a new blog to continue to spoon out all my thoughts...

ebloggy decided to play out on me... haha, something happened to the host. *shrugs*

went for the ntu talk today. a worthed well trip. realised that engineering isnt as bad as i thought. engineers seem to be still as important though civil engineers are no longer tt needed. haha~ material engineering looks fun too. i surely dont have interactive & innovative thinking. but im sure i can slowly cultivate those "wonderful" qualities if i get into material engineering. lolz~

accountancy. still as attractive to me. though my auditor job in BSL is slowly decaying this life-long dream, i will still give it a shot at accountancy IF i score well in A level's.

went for the talk wif shah and mun, very interesting. cause told mun tt aishah and veejay broke up. didnt expect such a strong reaction from her. guess she must be spreading it around now. all the best to veejay. haha~

felt really depressed when they started to talk about A level's. have been dreaming about A level's. cant remember wat i dream about. only can remember short excerpts from my nightmares.

omg, my A level's results are bound to be really.... disastrous.

really hope those nightmares wont be true.

if not, i might end my life...

i would rather die then to be like my sister

felt like crying when i reached the MRT station.

guess the accumulated memories at the MRT station really made me emotional

tried to withhold the aching feeling

but guess my heart just cant stop the pain

haiz...

results...

i think i will make a trip down to the temple to pray

need some support to make through this period of time

i know alot of pple will be experiencing the same thing

but i think, im not coping as well as those average pple

*pray hard*

tears_of_forsaken_heaven

tou tong!!!

new blogskin~!

Goong

roar!!!

urgh~!

sorry blog~!

blog abit... hehe

yipee`!

eee..

yay~!

*weepz*

alamak~~!!

opops

im ok...

ai-yoh-yoh

lalalala~

yay!!!

i am slacking!!!

haiz...

hmm...

its finally here...

arrrrHHHH!!!

Slack again...

i need to cry...

weepz